Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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