And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
