Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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