good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
