what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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