Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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