Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
