1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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