And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
