So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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