are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
