I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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