here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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