sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
