Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
