I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
