Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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