he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
