He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
