Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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