I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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