Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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