Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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