I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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