If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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