Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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