his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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