Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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