okay pat passed out under dana's car
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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