Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize