Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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