i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
