They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
