ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
