bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
