Girls should come with a carfax report
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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