you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Randomize
