Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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