Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
