he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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