Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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