"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
