I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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