Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
