R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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