Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
