Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
