i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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