I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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