words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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