Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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