saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want to have your abortion
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
