Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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