I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
