we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
