Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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