It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
