You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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