She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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