Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
