windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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