You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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