At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
