omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
