If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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