used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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